I rather listen than talk

I'm always the bad one. But did you ever think of your mistakes too?

Idk how to express what i'm feeling today. It was really confusing for me. I was there siting down and talking to a classmates of mine then suddenly they came back from the toilet with that expression on their face like i did something wrong. Then when i talk to one of them, she's like want and don't want to talk to me. Like come on arh, what did i do wrong? Everything have to be my fault is it. I was really confuse so i just kept mum, wanna cry but i don't wanna be labeled as an Attention Seeker. That scene really bothers me, if i did something wrong tell me lahh. Don't give me the cold shoulder expecting me to get what you mean. You got mouth right? Then talk to me lahh, say bestf but then never treat like one -_-" I mean i was also in the wrong for not asking what actually was bothering the both of you but the way you guys looked at me, it's like i did something wrong and you guys didn't wanna talk to me therefore i just kept quite. Hais, idk lahh. I'm pissed off with one person but the other one felt it instead -_-" Lagi heart pain.

I've been asking Amin and Gwen and myself where i went wrong? At least communicate with me lahh. OMG, no need go Twitter go tweet something that really dosen't relate to anything then make me angry. We're not small kids right. We're teenagers. We solve things by talking it out. Where were you when i need you? I cried when i was in the toilet infront of our coursemates you know. I couldn't take it anymore. See i'm not that close to them but they were there comforting me instead. But where were you guys? I know i'm not perfect but i seriously don't know what really happen between us. There you guys wanna know what happen right. Don't need to go and beg people to tell, i'll type everything down here. If it's my freaking fault tell me lahh. Don't freaking give me the cold shoulder. It's the silence you guys give me that kills me inside. Hais, fine lahh. Everything my fault right? Yeah i'm always the bad one. I'm the one whose always finding fault with everyone. Yes i'm a FAKE. If you guys keep mum, i really don't know what to do anymore.

Bestfs fight with each other to make the friendship grow strong. But if we keep this up, i don't think there'll be a ending. If we keep this up, you'll hate me and i'll hate you and nothing will change. At least let's sit down and talk lahh. I don't want to continue this argument. It's childish for me.

If i'm in the wrong, then i'll take the initiative to apologies first though i don't know what i did wrong. Yeah i'm always wrong. You guys are right. I'm sorry kay. Hais, i don't know what else to say. Hehs, i'm trying to control my tears right now. I don't want to cry again in school tomorrow because of this. I don't want to feel sad anymore. I don't want anyone hating me. I don't want any more conflict with anyone. All i want is to be friends back with you girls.

Seriously, whatever i typed in this post really comes from the bottom of my heart and i mean it in a positive way not a negative way. At least i apologies already.